Watch everyone’s favourite World Cup Downhill commentator try to survive a brutal cyclocross urban thrash around the Swiss round of Red Bull Velodux.

“I don’t know how my shifter works!”

The Red Bull Velodux is one of the few cyclocross events that Red Bull put on around Europe in the off-season. This particular Velodux was in Claudio Caluori‘s home country of Switzerland.

“Walk slower guys, I’m out of breath!”

If you’ve ever watched or competed in a cyclocross – or even a XC race – then a whole lot of this will feel familiar. There’s the Le Mans-style mass spring start that sees more a couple of riders jumping the gun, much to Claudio’s chagrin. There’s the bike problems. The problem of everyone else being fitter than you. The lack of overtaking spots. And so on.

“Oh s***, I am last actually”

This isn’t the first time Claudio has ridden the Velodux but it seems that he didn’t learn his lesson last time. Maybe he should have done more to prepare than just play a game of hockey the night before? Although, they may have helped him sharpen his elbows for a bir of ‘cross duelling.

“Where’s the suspension when you need it?”

Although Claudio does appear to get dropped a number of times and spend the latter stages of the race with no-one else really around him much – bar the occasional flash by overtaker – you have to admire his riding skills. Bunnyhopping over the planks and negotiating a tricksy rock garden.

“I guess this would actually be quite fun if you were in some sort of shape.”

His race is a bit affected by mechanical issues. Not only does he seemingly not really know how his bike’s shifters work but he also harshly punctures on his carbon rims at one point and needs to pop to the pits.

“This should be a cycling race not a running race!”

By the end of it though, Claudio appears to hear the penny drop when it comes to the point of cyclocross racing: “I guess this would actually be quite fun if you were in some sort of shape.”